Centurion Extracts

Space Extractions…

Next time you are conducting recon missions along the Andromeda Belt be sure to bring along your Centurion Vape Pen. Nothing spells relief quite like the enticing pull off the many strains made available by Centurion Extracts. A space oriented vape pen that propels you through supernovas at the speed of light. The vape pen of choice for intergalactic stormtroopers and cosmic knight marauders alike.

It’s healing properties will help you deal with saber wounds suffered at the hands of Garlock the Terrible and his minions of space raiders. It will also help you cope with radiated asteroid attacks along the corridors of Rygel 4. Don’t overdo it however. You’ll want to be clear headed when taking on the alien hordes of Alpha Centauri.

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Puffco Glow

Glow-in-the-Dank… Sure, you already know about the Puffco Peak: one of the best ways to dip your dankest dab and electrically puff water-filtered goodness into your expectant lungs. We’ve even climbed that “Peak” before in a previous TNS feature (see what we did there?). You can check out our previous ascent here: https://thenewsmoker.com/puffco/ But what you […]

Lime Cannabis Co.

A Real Lime Wire… Remember waaaay back in the year 2000 when midriffs and low rise jeans were in, the internet was dial-up and it took you all night to not so legally have to download a song from The Real Slim Shady LP off of LimeWire, and legal cannabis was just a pipe dream […]

Sonder Vape

Sondering through your mind… Sonder is a moment of awareness and connectivity with the world around you. Here are three example sentences in which the word sonder can be used: Sentence #1: Pam and Nat just shared a wonderfully large spliff together. Both Pam and Nat are knee deep in fucking sonder right now. Sentence: #2: […]

F/ELD Extracts

Extractionary… Field-work is made more daunting when incorporating a diagonal ‘i’. Similarly, hou5e chores are made more arduous when incorporating the number 5 as an ‘s’. Letters come at a premium and so does F/eld Extracts. A cannabis company that coaxes the lifeblood of the cannabis plant so that you too can venture into the […]

710 Labs

On the flip side of OIL …? To the laymen, 710 Labs could be just your run-of-the-mill laboratory located at 710 Industry Way or maybe there are 710 beakers on the premises or just the lucky number of the head scientist in charge—a gregarious fellow who wears his white lab coat to sleep and drinks […]

Beezle Extracts

Beezle Juice! Beezle Juice! Beezle Juice! While Beezle Sauce sounds like something that will surely transport you to a land of electric waterfalls and pulsating quasars of joy, we cannot help but feel an opportunity was missed here. It seems like the name “Beezle Juice” was there for the taking. One can easily imagine a […]

Sherbinski’s Gelato

Gelling Like Gelato… You bought a white linen suit and you are sporting your favorite pair of Persol sunglasses. You have rented a convertible Alfa Romeo for the occasion and you press your Italian loafered foot on the gas as you weave around the bends. Cruising down the Amalfi Coast takes a certain amount of […]

ROAM FLOWER

Roam if you want to… In the immortal words of the B-52s: “Roam if you want to Roam around the world Roam if you want to Without wings, without wheels Roam if you want to Without anything but the love we feel”  

Cobra Extracts

Twice Bitten, Once High… Cobra Extracts is a premiere vape and cannabis extract company. It is NOT however an anti-venom for cobra bites. Therefore, if you are hacking your way through the jungles of Java and sustain a bite from our hooded snake friend please do not turn to Cobra Extracts. While you will gain […]

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