Nonnie’s Nectar

The nectar of the cannabis gods…

Nonnie, while once an enterprising young woman, is now a state of mind. The fine people from Nonnie’s Nectar offer softgel capsules containing the healing properties of CBD. Much desired to combat inflammation and joint pain each dose will lift you from the doldrums of your day to day grind. Please do not confuse this with Donnie’s Nectar however, which is actually a really gross pasta sauce sold from the back of Donny’s Trans Am. Also, do not mix this up with Lonnie’s Nectar which as far as we can tell is a self-tanning cream sold by one of Hollywood, Florida’s premiere Lonnie Anderson impersonators.

What you want is Nonnie’s Nectar! Each CBD gel is made with a water soluble liquid formulated for optimal bioavailability. This doesn’t mean that it’s available to go out on dates or anything like that you weirdo. What it means is it’s designed to absorb into your system much quicker and more effectively. We wish a certified biologist were here to explain these things to you but alas none were available because none were approached. The memory of Nonnie and her offspring are devising ways to help you transcend the mundane. [...]

Metolius Hemp Co.

Ooo Ooo That Smell… Nothing smells worse than a typical cigar lit up by a typical rich douche of a dude near your dinner table as you try and finish your expensive steak while on your first date with that cute girl from your college English class you’ve had a crush on all semester. There […]

Moon Mother CBD Beauty Box

Mother May I…? Leave it to your Moon Mother to rejuvenate your skin and heal what ails ya’. Especially since your own mother was so distant and cold and would frequently yell at you for the most benign indiscretions. No wonder you are a ball of nerves. You deserve an inner vacation. What better way […]

Good Day CBD Cold Brew

Today was a Good Day… A good day is a good strong coffee. A great day is a good Cold Brew coffee. An incredibly great day is a strong Cold Brew that contains the healing properties of CBD. A “Holy Shit!” day is a strong Good Day CBD Cold Brew that is still cold and […]

Glacier Topicals

So Cool It’s Glacial… Gunther was an insular man who spent his days pining for lost loves high atop a jagged fjord. He was a true Nordsman,descended from Vikings and adept at hard manual labor. After hours of catching herring with his bare hands and pushing around boulders for no other reason than he could, […]

Miller Healer Box

It’s Miller time! You have always loved the idea of skateboarding and you dream to be like a young Marty McFly, hanging on the back of bumpers or, for people who aren’t ancient, like pro–boarder Matt Miller. Fat chance pal. Your balance and overall athleticism is questionable and the likelihood of you getting on any […]

CBD Oil for Horses

Some hemp, some hemp, my kingdom for some hemp… Harriet is a horse lady. Not a centaur mind you, but a woman who loves horses. She dotes on her own horse whom she affectionately refers to as “Pony Girl.” She rides Pony Girl, she brushes Pony Girl, she fits Pony Girl with the finest made […]

Life Flower

Live a Life… Life isn’t about winning. Life isn’t about losing. Life isn’t about money. Life isn’t about possessions. Life isn’t your status. Life isn’t your inbox. Life isn’t who you are. Life is what you do. And what you should do is pour yourself a nice hot steaming bath, put on Marvin Gaye’s “Trouble […]

Charlotte’s Web CBD

A Web of Relaxation… Wilbur’s relationship with a barn spider named Charlotte was a complicated one. At first things were awkward because Wilbur is a pig and Charlotte is a spider and those two normally don’t hang out. When Charlotte learned of Wilbur’s impending slaughter she took some CBD tincture and thought hard on how […]

Bacon Apple Pet Donuts

Give a dog a bone, feed him for a day. Teach a dog to fetch, play with him for a lifetime… Those are the wise words of famed dog philosopher Sir Nigel Bellyrubs. As director of the Center for Good Boys he is excited about new CBD containing products currently out on the market. None […]

Plain Jane CBD Smokes

Hemp Side Story… “The CBD Boys” was a gang comprised of mostly progressive and upwardly mobile young street toughs from the Bowery section of New York. Known for their ethically conscious leather jackets and laid back demeanor they could be seen at one of any number of local juice spots puffing away on their Plain […]

Load more