Fruit Fantasy

The apple of your high…

In the future, all humans will be allotted one ceramic apple to smoke their weed out of. This is by official decree from the newly appointed galactic overseer, Rebus X. Rebus was born in a synthetic apple orchard on the planet Nebulack. He grew up a weed farmer and led the rebellion against the despotic regime of Fraglock the Terrible during the Andromeda skirmishes of 2157.

The galactic peasantry heralded the arrival of Rebus X who flew through the Kuiper belt in his THC fueled rocket tractor. His coat of arms is a white ceramic apple and pot leaf, and he believes that true knowledge and salvation comes through the subconscious reckoning one gets whilst high. Imprisoned for a hundred years his citizenry was now free to explore the deepest recesses of their own minds.

In his tenth year as grand overseer Rebus X appointed a contingent of time travelers to go back to our present day and disseminate the symbolic and iconic white ceramic apple pipe so that they may know freedom and one day fight the oppressive Fraglocks of our world.

-A Summerland Fruit Fantasy of a noble quest.

 

Featured image credit: Photographer Sean Berrigan  IG @dabdaddi902 and Stylist IG @fallforvee 

Probiotic Cannabis Chocolate

Gourmand ganja for the gut… Whoever knew that a delicious chocolate could do so much? Heal the psyche AND heal the gut? The good people at Oara, that’s who. Packed with beneficial bacteria and the ever so beneficial THC these chocolate thins are the decadent choice for total wellness. Since cultivating a dynamic and healthy […]

Better Bong Water

Give Piece a chance… A designer bong deserves designer water. Would you fill up the tank of your brand new Ferrari with Mountain Dew? Let the record show that you would not. Than why continue to fill up your beautiful, shimmering new water pipe with tap water? The same tap water you wash your hands […]

Chocolate Love

Special chocolates for a special love… Happy Valentines! Did you get chocolates from your loved one today? Show some real valentine love with one of The New Smoker’s curated selection of cannabis chocolates. What’s a better way to say I love you than getting super high on Valentine’s Day, and doing some seriously deep Netflix […]

Natura Hemp Rolling Papers

Naturally Natura… When Little Jimmy Fontaine finally went all natural everyone thought it was just a phase. It started innocently enough. He started buying organic fruits and vegetables and relied only on Rizla’s Natura responsibly sourced hemp rolling papers to smoke his homegrown bud. Before long, he went vegetarian and then vegan and then raw vegan and then […]

Marble Pipes

Secret society’s pipe of choice… The Grand Puba of the Eternal Sativa Lodge has called upon the almighty seer stone to be brought forth with. As the central ritual piece of the Treemason’s harvest ceremony this marble pipe also acts as conduit to the spirit world. Designed by Fredericks & Mae this cone shaped pipe […]

Thrive

Into the vape wide open… Dateline: Kathmandu. 4,600 feet above sea level. 27°42′41″N 85°18′31″E. The young Nordic explorer, Thor Ganjarohl has returned triumphant from his record solo of Mt. Everest. The Nepalese know it as Sagarmāthā. With wind chills in excess of -70C, young Thor not only survived but thrived. He attributes his Thrive Vape Pen from […]

The Peak

The pinnacle of highness… Take your preferred concentrate and embark on a journey up the north face of Mt. Cannabis. A rarefied air for dab lovers who are always looking for higher peaks. Puff Co. has created a sleek vaporizer to vanquish your concentrate and put you on the summit of Where-the-hell-am-I-ville. Part light show, […]

Cannatonic Tonic

A sublime sublingual… It’s three o’clock in the morning and you’ve tuned into Tincture Radio, playing all those edible delights for you on your graveyard shift. We’ve got a special request going out to all those sublingual freaks out there. A cool and mellow high is coming your way from the groovy cats over at […]

Guild Extracts

Extraction traction… – THE STATE OF THE GUILD ADDRESS – “Here! Here! The Guild of Extracts has taken to the floor. The Honorable Bud McVaporstein has the microphone.” “Thank you, thank you. I will start by saying the state of Guild Extracts is strong and we continue to pick up steam. Our extracts have exceeded […]

Load more