Greatest Hits of 1989 sealed for freshness.
You’ve got a trip home to visit the fam this weekend… You’ll be sleeping in the time capsule that is your old bedroom… including the twin bed you’re barely going to fit into. Upside? There’s definitely a good chance those magazines you stashed are still under the mattress. Downside? Mom and Dad are going to ask you why you’re not married yet and don’t you know they’re not going to live forever, do you ever plan on producing grandchildren before they die?!?!
To avoid totally losing your shit under the pressure, a la your former angsty teenage self, you’re gonna need to bring reinforcements. And the last thing you want is to add more drama to the weekend by stinking up the entire house with your sweet kush. You’re gonna need to be discreet and you’re gonna need to blend in. Well, good thing your bedroom still looks like 1989. And you have just the right camouflage for bringing along your I-can-totally-deal-with-Mom-and-Dad-for-an-entire-weekend medicine. These retro fit Stink Sack cassette tape baggies will keep out that dank smell and blend right in with all your old stuff!
Peace will be had. Ma will be none the wiser, even if she snoops through your stuff just like she always use to do.