Awakened Topicals

“An awakened topical is a woke topical”

A craft tincture from Awakened Topicals is just the thing to stimulate your third eye. In The Book of Woke it is the third eye that is the pre-eminent passageway to Wokeville, located a bit farther to the left of Enlightenedton. A place where your senses are heightened and your body is a mere vessel that is left to linger beyond the hinterlands. Meanwhile your spirit awakens itself with every application and then soars through the Woke Valley, high atop the Woke Mountains and into the deepest confines of Woke Caverns where there sits an old, old man smoking a two-foot pipe whittled from the branches of the mighty Woke Oak and he invites you sit down so he can measure your level of awakeness and offer you a toke and a few more drops of tincture.

Then you join hands so that both you, the old man, and the cave itself lifts up to the clouds like that scene in “Up” and you can definitely see your house from here and you can even see your physical body in the waiting room outside Wokeville and you try to figure out how this all came to be from a simple tincture and then the old man tells you to stop questioning and to start “being” and you know that all is true and good and just.

pearl2o

Pearls before swine… As some infamous scraggly haired dude from the deep desert said in sermon sometime ago, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” – Matthew 7:6 Also in that big book of many […]

Poppins Stash Bag

A bagful of bud helps the medicine go down… If a mysterious magical nanny came down to earth on a rain dusted umbrella, full of smiles, secrets, and charm, then tricked you and your siblings to sing catchy tunes while you all learned child labor can be fun, we’re pretty sure you’d all have to […]

Crafty

The Walking Baked… It’s been 7 years since the world fell. It might be hard for some, but as someone who had the best hoophouse cannabis farm in Upper Mendo 3 years running, you’ve still got the skills to trade. A green thumb for the good green. Having something special to barter goes a long way […]

Boost: Black Edition

The Power of the Dub… Take your cannabis wax and/or oil to new heights with the world’s first portable, battery powered dab rig. The Boost: Black Edition is a surefire way to transport you deep into the multiverse without the need for a torch or some intricate scaffolding apparatus that resembles those delicious Doozer Sticks […]

Blunted Objects

Cannabis Chique… Gone are the days of the ostentatious potleaf medallion hanging off a fake gold rope chain. Blunted Objects brings style and craftsmanship to the cannabis community and makes it more than ok to show off your affinity for getting high. Adorn your ears with some Killer Leaf Hoops as you go out for […]

Jetty Sushi

Jiro Dreams of Cannabis… Someone has taken your love of raw fish and your passion for premium weed and combined it in the form of Jetty Sushi. It’s a portable sushi bar that caters to the San Diego area and infuses their rolls with top shelf cannabis oil. Dragon Rolls are so yesterday. These days […]

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