Aster Farms

A Star is Bonged…

Aster Farms sounds like it grows its primo pot products in a distant constellation in the corner of a remote galaxy on a small planet that gets its nurturing sunlight from an undiscovered star. The sort of utopian paradise where people work together to cultivate peace and prosperity for the good of humanity. A place where the alien soil is tilled prodigiously by workers who whistle a hauntingly beautiful melody. The vibrations in that tune allow their cannabis plants to grow over a 100 feet, providing shade and sustenance for its martian population. They give thanks by smoking massive bowls and joining their antennas together to create a sort of radio beacon that emits good vibes into its alien stratosphere.

The bad news is that our own society has not yet reached that level of enlightenment. The good news is that Aster Farms is not located 400 light years away. It’s in California and their buds are ready to go at a dispensary near you.

E.T best phone home cause it’s gonna’ be a hazy 420.

Muha Meds Vapes

Yah, Baby! You know that sinister sound a naughty neerdowell like Dr Evil makes when he’s about to commit his diabolical plan, as he rubs his hands together with a devious laugh of excitement “Muhaha Muuuhahaha Muuuuhahahaha ha!”… you know that sound? That’s the sound your brain will make when you’re about to inhale the […]

Modül by Stündenglass

The End Of The Quest For Fire… Since prehistoric days of yore, humans have been on a quest to bring fire home to warm their hearths. Whether it be Daryl Hannah and a half dozen cavemen wandering the ancient wilds, battling and evading saber-tooth tigers and Neanderthals, all to keep a couple of coals alive […]

RYOT Travel Bong

Big Mouth Bong… Summer is coming. Time to pack up and go places. Maybe finally drive across the United States. Maybe find a campsite at a lake and fish for your dinners for a week or two. Maybe move to the wilderness to escape the entropic downfall of modern society. Whatever your travel plans, you’re […]

Gelato Grape Gummies

Lip Lickingly Luscious… You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep in class and the world starts to echo around you as your teacher drones on about the statistical probabilities of African Swallows being able to carry coconuts in their talons across the Mediterranean all the way to England… …only to slip sweetly into a […]

Stündenglass Gravity Infuser

Lost in space… Have you seen that movie “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock? Have you seen it high?? Have you seen it high in 3D??? Then you might get an inkling of what it’s like to smoke your favorite herb through one of Stündenglass’s Gravity Infuser brilliant and beautiful gravity bongs. It even looks like a […]

DAVINCI Miqro-C

Miqro but not small… The year is 1499. The new half-millennium is about to begin. Leonardo Da Vinci is just finishing his Milanese Period and feels the need for a change. War abounds in segmented Italy, and Leo is finding it hard to make a living painting portraits of women with half smiles. He thinks […]

G-Pen Hyer Vaporizer

E-nailed it… Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t much care for the straightforward simplicity of a bong. And e-nails are just too tech-free. If only there was a way I could complicate things and add a bunch of stylishly bulky magnetic computer components to my glass water pipe to perfectly vape all this extra […]

Elevate Jane Jade Ashtray

High Style… If Breakfast at Tiffany’s was made today, Holly Golightly would be smoking elegant joints through an Elevate Jane jade joint holder and ashing into its beautifully hefty matching jade ashtray, as she sings Moon River to the bustling New York streets below. The wafting weed smoke swimming up through the neighboring apartments would […]

Weedgets Maze-X Pipe

A-maze-ing… In Ancient Greece, mazes were made to keep Minotaurs from killing your royal family because you failed in your tribute to Poseidon and your god-enchanted wife got hot n heavy with a bull, thereby birthing the half-bull, half-man beast to haunt your nightmares and the mazes in your mind and trap your shame. And […]

The Bzz Box TNS Stash Box

What The Bzz Is All About… Bees work so hard flying from here to there pollinating plants and flowers, bringing back nectar to the hive to convert to yummy honey, to be harvested by humans, and put in small bear shaped bottles for us to enjoy as sweet treats when we get super high and […]