Ego-Death by Chocolate… Tom Buford loved chocolate deeply. His love was an all-encompassing sort of love. It took priority in his life and he’d eat all sorts. Gas station chocolate, the fancy French kind of chocolate, and even entire chocolate cakes if the mood struck him. His license plate even read “GANACHE.” Before long, Tom […]
Riding the high seas… For the sexy pirate within us all. Here it comes. You have that urge again to cast yourself free from the binding limits of the suffocating shore, and once more be free to ride the high seas in search of booty to plunder. (Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty […]
Dankton Abbey… Cast of characters: Lord Greenthorpe, the Duke of Humboldt: a nobleman; Scrimsby: Lord Greenthorpe’s long beleaguered valet; Chauncey 2 : The hallboy/page. A dimwit. ACT 1. SCENE 1. — THE DANKTON MANOR Scrimsby: [clears throat] Your monthly has arrived sir. Lord Greenthorpe: Have them bring it up at once Scrimsby. Scrimsby: Very good sir [turns to […]
Budscapes… Unfurl your bud flower prints by Goldleaf and proclaim your manor as House Ganja of HighGarden. Notify your landlord that you will be addressed as Lord OneHitter for now on, overseer of the hydroponics and Archduke of Ecstacy. Deference must be paid. Take your bud prints with you to the marketplace as well and […]
Spliff Notes… Even joints need help sometimes. News Flash: They’re not born joints. A lot of nurturing and guidance takes place before the formation of the joint. Even the smoothest or tightest looking “J” isn’t without a mishap or two. It’s all about mitigating the mistakes, that is what makes you a true rollmaster. One […]
Wh nds vwls…? Ths s BRNT. Ths fncy bng s th bst bng fr ths wh lk smkng gd cln smth hts wth shrp srfcs. Pt ths bng n yr pst-mdrn hm, yr pst-mdrn frnds wll thnk yr spr stylsh. Y cld pssbly rll yr BRNT bng lk sm mlt-sdd dc frm Dngns & Drgns. […]
The Meer Possibilities… She walked along the beach from morning till dusk looking for sepiolite. The locals called it “foam of the sea” but it was known throughout the world as meerschaum. There was something alluring about this mineral. The way it looked like foam as it floated atop the waters of the Black Sea. […]
A more elevated meow mix… All those judging glances have been decoded. Your cat(s) have been wondering all along when you will be done bogarting that fat spliff and include them in the cipher. The time has come and the Meowijuana catnip joints are just the thing to put man and feline on an even […]
Lo, the entrance to the underworld… The aptly named Hydra by MJ Arsenal takes on the visage of a serpentine water beast. To slay it properly one needs not to chop off one of it’s glass heads (That would be a no no). It will only sprout back several more and then you’ll be in […]
Just the Pax ma’am… Portland’s premiere private eye is on the case of Oregon’s missing pageant queen. A smokey eyed debutant from the hills of Klamath Falls. She was apparently snatched from her eco-conscious tiny home in the dead of night. The only clue left behind was a limited edition Oregrown Lifted Pax Era vape. Examining […]
