The Hemper Box

To all the Boo Radley’s out there. Your time is now.

Shut-ins and reclusive hermits rejoice! You need not sneak away to the head shop under the cloak of darkness anymore. You no longer need to dress like a Mutant Ninja Turtle out on the town for a slice of pizza to purchase your bud essentials. Why? Because Hemper brings it to you.

They understand your need for solitude and heady nirvana and they will bring the goods monthly. (Queue the harps!!) Remain in your subterranean safe space for the indefinite future and tack blurbs about corporate mergers on your “Master Board” with pictures of the Bilderberg Group and chart their connections using yarn and frenetic looking arrows all while knowing your cannabis related needs have been taken care of in the form of a subscription.

Hemper knows you are doing important work and you need not deviate from that work to walk amongst mortals in an open setting. Allow only the postman, once per month, to deliver your premium box of paper and glass products and thank him through your periscope. Have Igor fetch your box and bring it back to you and sample the goodies so you can get back to unmasking the Illuminati in peace!

Tyson 2.0 x Stündenglass

“I’m gonna knock you out…” Mike Tyson is well known for a few things: Being one of the greatest boxing champions in the world; Biting Holyfield’s ear off; Speaking more softly than his physique implies; and an amazing knack for solving mysteries with a ghost, a pigeon, and his adopted daughter Yung Hee. But now […]

RYOT 710 Verb Flip

Low Key To Get High Key… Revealing the RYOT 710 Verb Flip—James Bond’s dream gadget if he ever went incognito at a music festival. Looks like a zippo lighter, but hits like a hippo fighter. Sleek and stealthy, this vaporizer flips faster than a double agent, and hits smoother than a double martini. Compact enough […]

Muha Meds Vapes

Yah, Baby! You know that sinister sound a naughty neerdowell like Dr Evil makes when he’s about to commit his diabolical plan, as he rubs his hands together with a devious laugh of excitement “Muhaha Muuuhahaha Muuuuhahahaha ha!”… you know that sound? That’s the sound your brain will make when you’re about to inhale the […]

Modül by Stündenglass

The End Of The Quest For Fire… Since prehistoric days of yore, humans have been on a quest to bring fire home to warm their hearths. Whether it be Daryl Hannah and a half dozen cavemen wandering the ancient wilds, battling and evading saber-tooth tigers and Neanderthals, all to keep a couple of coals alive […]

RYOT Travel Bong

Big Mouth Bong… Summer is coming. Time to pack up and go places. Maybe finally drive across the United States. Maybe find a campsite at a lake and fish for your dinners for a week or two. Maybe move to the wilderness to escape the entropic downfall of modern society. Whatever your travel plans, you’re […]

Gelato Grape Gummies

Lip Lickingly Luscious… You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep in class and the world starts to echo around you as your teacher drones on about the statistical probabilities of African Swallows being able to carry coconuts in their talons across the Mediterranean all the way to England… …only to slip sweetly into a […]

Stündenglass Gravity Infuser

Lost in space… Have you seen that movie “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock? Have you seen it high?? Have you seen it high in 3D??? Then you might get an inkling of what it’s like to smoke your favorite herb through one of Stündenglass’s Gravity Infuser brilliant and beautiful gravity bongs. It even looks like a […]

DAVINCI Miqro-C

Miqro but not small… The year is 1499. The new half-millennium is about to begin. Leonardo Da Vinci is just finishing his Milanese Period and feels the need for a change. War abounds in segmented Italy, and Leo is finding it hard to make a living painting portraits of women with half smiles. He thinks […]

G-Pen Hyer Vaporizer

E-nailed it… Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t much care for the straightforward simplicity of a bong. And e-nails are just too tech-free. If only there was a way I could complicate things and add a bunch of stylishly bulky magnetic computer components to my glass water pipe to perfectly vape all this extra […]

Elevate Jane Jade Ashtray

High Style… If Breakfast at Tiffany’s was made today, Holly Golightly would be smoking elegant joints through an Elevate Jane jade joint holder and ashing into its beautifully hefty matching jade ashtray, as she sings Moon River to the bustling New York streets below. The wafting weed smoke swimming up through the neighboring apartments would […]