Ritual Tincture

Schedule your high…

Typical Weekday Schedule:

9am: Visit dispensary and purchase Ritual Tincture.

9:12am: Scatter chicken bones in the parking lot and howl like a wolf.

10:00am: Report to work at the widget factory.

10:44am: Silently whisper to yourself, “If I make one more widget I’m going to burn this factory down.”

11am: Excuse yourself to the lavatory and take a few drops of Ritual Tincture to reel yourself back from the brink of insanity. Take a few extra drops because you deserve it. If caught explain it away as medicine for your chronic dry skin. (Make up a very convoluted medical sounding word if pressed.)

11:30am – 4pm: Smoooooooth sailing.

4pm – 6pm: If sails no longer smooth and possibly even choppy take a few more drops of Ritual Tincture to help you combat the grind.

7pm – 8pm: Sailing is no longer sailing in water but a different sort of interdimensional space sail that is neither smooth nor choppy nor actually even there. What does the word sail even mean and why are we even here?

8pm -10pm: Become non-linear. Have another Ritual drop or two to achieve “Hero Status.” This is customary when straddling two worlds.

10pm – midnight: Dispense with all matter.

Midnight till wake up: Fall into [...]

Queen’s Kit

All hail the Queen… Queen Victoria was one of the most powerful people in the 19th century, ruling over a global empire upon which “the sun never sets”, but she was a woman none-the-less. And though she was absolute monarch over all her British subjects, she was still subjected to to her body and the […]

Pet CBD Tincture

Chill dog, chill… Your wife’s Pomeranian, Mr. Hugsworth, is giving you trouble again. She dresses him up in little outfits, gives him human food and swears he is an angel. Yet, when she leaves the house his true colors start to show. He chews up the furniture, barks at anything that isn’t nailed down, and […]

Emerald Alchemy Tincture

Old World extraction for Other World interaction… Time honored practices make for an intense relationship between human and plant. A liquid bridge, if you will, where one freely crosses between two worlds; the natural and the supernatural. Through alchemy and good old fashioned agriculture this cannabis tincture will give you a unique experience and transport […]

Cannatonic Tonic

A sublime sublingual… It’s three o’clock in the morning and you’ve tuned into Tincture Radio, playing all those edible delights for you on your graveyard shift. We’ve got a special request going out to all those sublingual freaks out there. A cool and mellow high is coming your way from the groovy cats over at […]

Cured Spices

I’m “Cured”!! How to win the tri-country fair cookoff. Cured CBD infused spice will be your secret weapon this year. A sweet or savory addition that will hypnotize and lull the judges into giving you high marks…. But be forewarned, it’s not easy winning top prize at the Tri-County Fair Cookoff. In fact it’s downright […]

Vet CBD

Playing fetch has never felt so good… Mr. Snugglesworth is a Yellow Labrador who is advanced in age. He no longer darts across the yard like he once did, nor does he challenge the mailman like in days gone by. When the tennis ball rolls under the Barcalounger Mr. Snugglesworth just stares off into the […]

Fiddler’s Greens

High notes on the high seas… Legend has it that a life spent sailing the high seas is rewarded in the afterlife, where a fiddle never stops playing, dancers never stop dancing and mirth follows you for eternity. Fiddler’s Greens tincture is here to let you know that you need not wait for sailor’s paradise to […]

Humboldt Apothecary

“Herbal remedies for what ails ya’” Tis’ what the sign read deep into the Humboldt backcountry, where cannabis plants sprouted like giants, and townsfolk seemed to float a good seven inches off the ground. A magical place that all spoke of an apothecarist’s shop nestled into the foothills of the grand Redwoods. The conscience altering […]

KannaKrill CBD Relief for Pets

Man’s best friend meets man’s best friend. Have years of fetching newspapers and digging holes in your neighbor’s yard got your dog feeling a bit achy or sluggish? Perhaps KannaKrill relief can help. A CBD oil and Krill oil blend developed specifically for pets on the mend (Cats & dogs mostly. Fish & turtles… not […]

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