The Great Nickel Plated Case Race…
“Protect the joints you love”. This was the message pumped out by both of the world’s superpowers during the 1960’s, towards the 1980’s, when The Joint Case Race was at it’s zenith.
It all started when the Soviets first trained kangaroos to protect cannabis joints by holding over several dozen in their pouches. Of course they would get crushed during the hopping around phase and thus the scientists would have to go back to the drawing board. The Americans responded by using dolphins to protect joints, but they would inevitably get waterlogged and deemed unusable. Shoeboxes and violin cases were also used, but eventually they too were found to be insufficient.
Recently, with relations at it’s frostiest since those hardscrabble days, companies like JvdF and The Standard (both possible cannabis-defense contracting firms, we imagine) have created a nickel joint case that appears to be impenetrable. Reports of perfectly preserved cones have fueled the ire of our foes. The latest news from Mother Russia have them working on a plan to put joints into outer space.
Clearly a new race has started to see who could take better care of their spliffs. Let us hope they both win for all our sakes.
