The Mermaid Package

Heed the siren song…

Mermaids are real, and they get high. They get high for several reasons. Reason #1: They get beat up by the waves A LOT. #2: Laying on a rock for hours while serenading sailors can be taxing on the lower back and fish scales. #3: It’s not easy being a mermaid because you are shunned by fish for not being completely fishy, and you are shunned by humans for not being completely human. Smoking weed helps deal with both the emotional and physical side of mermaiding.

Yet, despite all the rigors of the job a consortium of mermaids have gotten together to offer you all (as ungrateful as you are) a bag of toking accessories. You feel bad about what you said towards these centaurs of the sea now don’t you? Good. You should. This lovely bag of goodies contain a shell pipe, a poker, a lighter, rolling papers and other nautical themed cannabis accoutrement.

It all comes in a lovely OceanTokes pouch that fits perfectly on the end of your hobo stick or off the bow of your thirty-six foot Schooner. Put your ear to the conch shell of life and listen closely to what the ocean is telling you. Smooooooooke it uuuuuuuup.

Tyson 2.0 x Stündenglass

“I’m gonna knock you out…” Mike Tyson is well known for a few things: Being one of the greatest boxing champions in the world; Biting Holyfield’s ear off; Speaking more softly than his physique implies; and an amazing knack for solving mysteries with a ghost, a pigeon, and his adopted daughter Yung Hee. But now […]

RYOT 710 Verb Flip

Low Key To Get High Key… Revealing the RYOT 710 Verb Flip—James Bond’s dream gadget if he ever went incognito at a music festival. Looks like a zippo lighter, but hits like a hippo fighter. Sleek and stealthy, this vaporizer flips faster than a double agent, and hits smoother than a double martini. Compact enough […]

Muha Meds Vapes

Yah, Baby! You know that sinister sound a naughty neerdowell like Dr Evil makes when he’s about to commit his diabolical plan, as he rubs his hands together with a devious laugh of excitement “Muhaha Muuuhahaha Muuuuhahahaha ha!”… you know that sound? That’s the sound your brain will make when you’re about to inhale the […]

Modül by Stündenglass

The End Of The Quest For Fire… Since prehistoric days of yore, humans have been on a quest to bring fire home to warm their hearths. Whether it be Daryl Hannah and a half dozen cavemen wandering the ancient wilds, battling and evading saber-tooth tigers and Neanderthals, all to keep a couple of coals alive […]

RYOT Travel Bong

Big Mouth Bong… Summer is coming. Time to pack up and go places. Maybe finally drive across the United States. Maybe find a campsite at a lake and fish for your dinners for a week or two. Maybe move to the wilderness to escape the entropic downfall of modern society. Whatever your travel plans, you’re […]

Gelato Grape Gummies

Lip Lickingly Luscious… You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep in class and the world starts to echo around you as your teacher drones on about the statistical probabilities of African Swallows being able to carry coconuts in their talons across the Mediterranean all the way to England… …only to slip sweetly into a […]

Stündenglass Gravity Infuser

Lost in space… Have you seen that movie “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock? Have you seen it high?? Have you seen it high in 3D??? Then you might get an inkling of what it’s like to smoke your favorite herb through one of Stündenglass’s Gravity Infuser brilliant and beautiful gravity bongs. It even looks like a […]

DAVINCI Miqro-C

Miqro but not small… The year is 1499. The new half-millennium is about to begin. Leonardo Da Vinci is just finishing his Milanese Period and feels the need for a change. War abounds in segmented Italy, and Leo is finding it hard to make a living painting portraits of women with half smiles. He thinks […]

G-Pen Hyer Vaporizer

E-nailed it… Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t much care for the straightforward simplicity of a bong. And e-nails are just too tech-free. If only there was a way I could complicate things and add a bunch of stylishly bulky magnetic computer components to my glass water pipe to perfectly vape all this extra […]

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