Cypress Cannabis

Sun worshippers…

Cypress Cannabis is a California estate grower that embraces sustainability by embracing the sun. We mean that figuratively of course, because no man or woman has the arm length to completely embrace the sun. It’s far too large and far too hot. Your arms and probably your torso, feet, and face would melt into a horrific ooze before you got anywhere near the darn thing. Nevermind the issue of transport. Who the hell is going to build a rocketship that will dare take you to the sun’s edge and then allow a spacewalk so you can foolishly hug the sun? Have you given this no thought??

Stay local, within the Earth’s atmosphere preferably. Smoke a joint of Fruity Pebblez under your beloved Cypress tree. The same one you and your childhood sweetheart Belinda carved your initials onto that one rainy April day when you promised her the world but could only offer up a Newport cigarette and a bowl of shake.

If it’s space you want then smoke up dear friends and you will need no rocket propelled sun embracer. You will require only your mind and an iron will to get higher than the brightest star.

Tyson 2.0 x Stündenglass

“I’m gonna knock you out…” Mike Tyson is well known for a few things: Being one of the greatest boxing champions in the world; Biting Holyfield’s ear off; Speaking more softly than his physique implies; and an amazing knack for solving mysteries with a ghost, a pigeon, and his adopted daughter Yung Hee. But now […]

RYOT 710 Verb Flip

Low Key To Get High Key… Revealing the RYOT 710 Verb Flip—James Bond’s dream gadget if he ever went incognito at a music festival. Looks like a zippo lighter, but hits like a hippo fighter. Sleek and stealthy, this vaporizer flips faster than a double agent, and hits smoother than a double martini. Compact enough […]

Muha Meds Vapes

Yah, Baby! You know that sinister sound a naughty neerdowell like Dr Evil makes when he’s about to commit his diabolical plan, as he rubs his hands together with a devious laugh of excitement “Muhaha Muuuhahaha Muuuuhahahaha ha!”… you know that sound? That’s the sound your brain will make when you’re about to inhale the […]

Modül by Stündenglass

The End Of The Quest For Fire… Since prehistoric days of yore, humans have been on a quest to bring fire home to warm their hearths. Whether it be Daryl Hannah and a half dozen cavemen wandering the ancient wilds, battling and evading saber-tooth tigers and Neanderthals, all to keep a couple of coals alive […]

RYOT Travel Bong

Big Mouth Bong… Summer is coming. Time to pack up and go places. Maybe finally drive across the United States. Maybe find a campsite at a lake and fish for your dinners for a week or two. Maybe move to the wilderness to escape the entropic downfall of modern society. Whatever your travel plans, you’re […]

Gelato Grape Gummies

Lip Lickingly Luscious… You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep in class and the world starts to echo around you as your teacher drones on about the statistical probabilities of African Swallows being able to carry coconuts in their talons across the Mediterranean all the way to England… …only to slip sweetly into a […]

Stündenglass Gravity Infuser

Lost in space… Have you seen that movie “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock? Have you seen it high?? Have you seen it high in 3D??? Then you might get an inkling of what it’s like to smoke your favorite herb through one of Stündenglass’s Gravity Infuser brilliant and beautiful gravity bongs. It even looks like a […]

DAVINCI Miqro-C

Miqro but not small… The year is 1499. The new half-millennium is about to begin. Leonardo Da Vinci is just finishing his Milanese Period and feels the need for a change. War abounds in segmented Italy, and Leo is finding it hard to make a living painting portraits of women with half smiles. He thinks […]

G-Pen Hyer Vaporizer

E-nailed it… Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t much care for the straightforward simplicity of a bong. And e-nails are just too tech-free. If only there was a way I could complicate things and add a bunch of stylishly bulky magnetic computer components to my glass water pipe to perfectly vape all this extra […]

Elevate Jane Jade Ashtray

High Style… If Breakfast at Tiffany’s was made today, Holly Golightly would be smoking elegant joints through an Elevate Jane jade joint holder and ashing into its beautifully hefty matching jade ashtray, as she sings Moon River to the bustling New York streets below. The wafting weed smoke swimming up through the neighboring apartments would […]