Mazzahanna is not a pasta dish… You may want to ask yourself an important question when starting a skincare regiment. Like, is my skin cream blessed by a shaman? Are there crystals and hemp extract up in this mofo? If the answers to any of those question are no it does not make you a […]
So Cool It’s Glacial… Gunther was an insular man who spent his days pining for lost loves high atop a jagged fjord. He was a true Nordsman,descended from Vikings and adept at hard manual labor. After hours of catching herring with his bare hands and pushing around boulders for no other reason than he could, […]
Welcome to the anti anti-serum… DEFYNT introduces a CBD concentrated skincare line to let your true beauty shine through. It helps if you are already beautiful of course. If you are very difficult to look at and have fish scale skin and offensive odor than this product will still help, but you have a long […]
Giant pain relief… We know what you expect us to say. That Lawrence Taylor Pain Master CBD Cream is formulated to TACKLE your pain. That’s the sort of low hanging fruit we at The New Smoker will simply not go for. Instead we will say this about Lawrence Taylor Pain Master CBD Cream: this cream […]
Like Frank sings… “Night and Day You are the one Only you ‘neath the moon Or under the sun Whether near to me or far No matter, darling where you are I think of you Night and day Day and night Why it is so That this longing for you Follows wherever I go In […]
The When? The Now! Turbo-charge your relaxation by adding some peppermint CBD oil to your “The Now” massage. Go to one of four locations in SoCal that use the healing properties of CBD to unlock tensions deep in your muscles and your inner consciousness. Leave their massage studio like a drunken sailor stumbling down the […]
Feel the heal… Have you recently carved the word “Slayer” into your forearm? Are you experiencing difficulties recovering from your most questionable and recent self-immolation? L’eela CBD infused bodycare lotions uses whole plant hemp extracts to help regenerate your damaged skin. Four out of five death metal enthusiasts turn to CBD skincare products like that of […]
A Web of Relaxation… Wilbur’s relationship with a barn spider named Charlotte was a complicated one. At first things were awkward because Wilbur is a pig and Charlotte is a spider and those two normally don’t hang out. When Charlotte learned of Wilbur’s impending slaughter she took some CBD tincture and thought hard on how […]
Hemp Side Story… “The CBD Boys” was a gang comprised of mostly progressive and upwardly mobile young street toughs from the Bowery section of New York. Known for their ethically conscious leather jackets and laid back demeanor they could be seen at one of any number of local juice spots puffing away on their Plain […]
A Chew Way Of Life… Why not give your beloved Yellow Labrador something new to chew on? Like… hope. That’s right, hope. That’s the only thing that Ol’ Dusty Boy can cling onto these days. What with the torment of children chasing him around the dinner table, the incessant chasing of tennis balls and the […]
