Calm CBD

Riding the high seas…

For the sexy pirate within us all.

Here it comes. You have that urge again to cast yourself free from the binding limits of the suffocating shore, and once more be free to ride the high seas in search of booty to plunder. (Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty brains… we mean sex.) And what better way to get in the mood for some sweet sweet sea-love, than a relaxing dose of BLKBRD Calm CBD Tincture.

A dropper full of this enticing elixir will get your peg-leg stiff as a board, your hand hook well hung, and that parrot on your shoulders worryingly wondering why you’re giving him the look again. (Polly want a “cracker?”)

Or maybe you just want to enjoy another Sunday just chillin at home solo. Either way, being Calm… is a turn on.

(Disclaimer: Arousal results may very. Not an actual claim by the manufacturer. Foul-fornication not recommended. All complaints are subject to mockery, and their authors might be made to walk the plank. Aaarrrg.)

Tyson 2.0 x Stündenglass

“I’m gonna knock you out…” Mike Tyson is well known for a few things: Being one of the greatest boxing champions in the world; Biting Holyfield’s ear off; Speaking more softly than his physique implies; and an amazing knack for solving mysteries with a ghost, a pigeon, and his adopted daughter Yung Hee. But now […]

RYOT 710 Verb Flip

Low Key To Get High Key… Revealing the RYOT 710 Verb Flip—James Bond’s dream gadget if he ever went incognito at a music festival. Looks like a zippo lighter, but hits like a hippo fighter. Sleek and stealthy, this vaporizer flips faster than a double agent, and hits smoother than a double martini. Compact enough […]

Muha Meds Vapes

Yah, Baby! You know that sinister sound a naughty neerdowell like Dr Evil makes when he’s about to commit his diabolical plan, as he rubs his hands together with a devious laugh of excitement “Muhaha Muuuhahaha Muuuuhahahaha ha!”… you know that sound? That’s the sound your brain will make when you’re about to inhale the […]

Modül by Stündenglass

The End Of The Quest For Fire… Since prehistoric days of yore, humans have been on a quest to bring fire home to warm their hearths. Whether it be Daryl Hannah and a half dozen cavemen wandering the ancient wilds, battling and evading saber-tooth tigers and Neanderthals, all to keep a couple of coals alive […]

RYOT Travel Bong

Big Mouth Bong… Summer is coming. Time to pack up and go places. Maybe finally drive across the United States. Maybe find a campsite at a lake and fish for your dinners for a week or two. Maybe move to the wilderness to escape the entropic downfall of modern society. Whatever your travel plans, you’re […]

Gelato Grape Gummies

Lip Lickingly Luscious… You know that feeling when you’re falling asleep in class and the world starts to echo around you as your teacher drones on about the statistical probabilities of African Swallows being able to carry coconuts in their talons across the Mediterranean all the way to England… …only to slip sweetly into a […]

Stündenglass Gravity Infuser

Lost in space… Have you seen that movie “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock? Have you seen it high?? Have you seen it high in 3D??? Then you might get an inkling of what it’s like to smoke your favorite herb through one of Stündenglass’s Gravity Infuser brilliant and beautiful gravity bongs. It even looks like a […]

DAVINCI Miqro-C

Miqro but not small… The year is 1499. The new half-millennium is about to begin. Leonardo Da Vinci is just finishing his Milanese Period and feels the need for a change. War abounds in segmented Italy, and Leo is finding it hard to make a living painting portraits of women with half smiles. He thinks […]

G-Pen Hyer Vaporizer

E-nailed it… Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t much care for the straightforward simplicity of a bong. And e-nails are just too tech-free. If only there was a way I could complicate things and add a bunch of stylishly bulky magnetic computer components to my glass water pipe to perfectly vape all this extra […]

Elevate Jane Jade Ashtray

High Style… If Breakfast at Tiffany’s was made today, Holly Golightly would be smoking elegant joints through an Elevate Jane jade joint holder and ashing into its beautifully hefty matching jade ashtray, as she sings Moon River to the bustling New York streets below. The wafting weed smoke swimming up through the neighboring apartments would […]