Just the Pax ma’am…
Portland’s premiere private eye is on the case of Oregon’s missing pageant queen. A smokey eyed debutant from the hills of Klamath Falls. She was apparently snatched from her eco-conscious tiny home in the dead of night. The only clue left behind was a limited edition Oregrown Lifted Pax Era vape. Examining the compact vape our gumshoe found over a dozen fingerprints. Seems like this was one popular vape. “Missing” signs of our girl smoking a joint with a tiara on can be seen from Astoria to Eugene.
In the upside down world, our glamorous beauty queen can be seen running through a dark forest of barren trees with her circus friends in tow. They appear lost and scared with no sense of direction. They try to navigate this electric forest of pulsating branches and exploding mushrooms to no avail. They look frantically for their Oregrown’s Pax Vape believing it is the one true portal. They, like our private dick, affix signs of the missing vape to the barks of the glowing oaks in the hopes of finding their way home. A centipede with a bowler’s hat puffing on his own vape pen point the motley crew into the direction of a blinding light.
The beauty queen and carnie friends emerge from the bowels of Crater Lake like newborn babies. Before long, they are reunited with their beloved Oregrown Lifted Pax Era Vape on the outskirts of Bend, OR. Our detective hands it over and warns the gang about abusing it’s power. Our beauty queen let’s out a guffaw and says, “Thanks, McGruff the Crime Dog.” They all laugh together and enjoy a few puffs.
