“If you love weed so much, why don’t you marry it??”
Don’t challenge us with a good time! These days bong-loads of people are doing it. So many in fact there are whole cannabis companies and wedding expos made for just such a special canna-occasion… with hemp wedding dresses, weed wedding cakes, potleaf table-displays, bud-brews, wine with weed, even bud bouquets and men’s bud boutonnieres. Every adult at your wedding can get as high as f… uh, feelings are on that special day.
…even if the one you love is just yourself. Regular roses and cheapo chocolates are about as original a Valentine’s Day gift as giving someone water when they’re thirsty; it might do the job, but it’s bland and boring and won’t lead to anything fun. So to help everyone get a lot more out of this ritually […]
Viagra for your Vulva.
Your Valentine’s Day dinner date with the boy you’ve been crushing on for months is almost over. It’s going so well, you’re feeling like it’s only matter of time until you both go back to either your place or his. But, even though you’ve been sipping wine all night, you’re still way too nervous to feel like you will be ready to properly perform with full female enthusiasm. Especially when it comes time to play heavy petting with the man of your dreams.
Then you breathe easier because you remember earlier you’d put Foria in your purse “just in case” and now you know you’re all set! Foria Pleasure is the first topical cannabis pleasure product made just for women. Just a few sprays and your flower will feel fresh, free, and ready for fun!
Puffing the last puff with poise. The days of the mini jumper cable clips are over. High Society’s Lux Clip range of wearable roach clips will make you want to exclusively smoke one millimeter micro-joints the rest of your green days. Tell your lady her bold new High Society necklace/roach clip really brings out her beautiful bloodshot eyes.
A Pipe For The Stoned Ages.
For the hipster caveman looking to impress his classy cave lady with the perfect pipe to puff some prime prehistoric-pot, Stonedware presents the stylish 22k gold-edged GeoPipe.
Whether relaxing in the love-cave, or getting ready to head out to see some indie igneous rock band like “Big Bash & The Boom Booms”… this premium primitive pot pipe is perfect for Paleolithic player.
When life slips you bud butter, make canna-cookies. You wake up late for an important meeting at the office. You stumble blurry-eyed down the stairs to the kitchen to start the new coffee maker on the counter. You push all of the buttons to try and get it to turn on. Hearing it start, you […]
Doesn’t Vase + Bong = Vong…?
We we’re going to try and come up with something superfluous and ridiculous for the Voong, but this one kinda speaks for itself. What follows quoted is their copy. The whimsically sarcastic tone is ours…
“At first glance, you might not suspect that this two-tone vase pulls double duty. You’ll notice its porcelain exterior with a tactile copper band around the neck and the three openings that hold flowers. But this beautiful object, by Castor Design, subtly disguises another use besides holding flowers – it’s also a bong!” (Insert disbelief face here.)
—
Ok, we did try a couple of our own but they didn’t quite seem to hit the same mark…
“Did you ever want to smoke out of a vase or put flowers in your bong? No? Good call.”
or…
“Are you the type of person who needs to hide your bong from your mom whenever she visits, so you put flowers in it and pretend it’s a vase? Well now here’s the Voong for you!
or…
“This is a pretty cool looking bong. Why the French would anyone put frickin flowers in it??”
… so we just left it as is.
Contact Castor Design sales for pricing.
Blessings from on High
Reading from the Queen Jane’s translation of The CannaBible:
Cannabisians 4:20
-Then the Lord Jones said, “And I will fetch a fine morsel of exquisite edibles to comfort ye your hearts, minds, and souls. And after ye shall pass into a blissful state: for therefore are ye come to your inner baked bliss.” And they said, So do, as thou hast said.
-And the Lord Jones made it so giving the faithful mighty Dark Chocolate Covered Sea Salt Caramels and majestic All Natural Old Fashioned Gum Drops and more for all of age to enjoy to their high heart’s content.
-So let it be written, so let it be done.
(Contact retail locations listed on their site for prices.)
A Bud By Any Other Name…
Any amateur can get a dozen roses for their loved one, but it takes a real cannasieur to take love to the next level. And nothing says “I love you” like a 1 Ounce Cannabis Bouquet from Lowell Farms.
Roses whither and die in the vase in days, but a bud bouquet is a gift that keeps on giving over and over and over… and it’s definitely going to make Valentine’s Day a lot more frisky and fun for all.
Roses might get you kissed, but a bouquet of bud will get you kissed all over.
$400
High-Tech
If Flash Gordon somehow landed on Middle Earth during the Lord of The Rings and made a vaporizer for Gandalf and all the hobbits to cleanly enjoy their primo homegrown pipe-weed, he might have made something like this ceramic and wood vape by Evoke…
…and then the whole trilogy might have been a lot shorter with a lot more laser-blasting Orcs and spaceships fighting dragons.
