The Glassentials Box

To all the Boo Radley’s out there. Your time is now.

Shut-ins and reclusive hermits rejoice! You need not sneak away to the head shop under the cloak of darkness anymore. You no longer need to dress like a Mutant Ninja Turtle out on the town for a slice of pizza to purchase your bud essentials. Why? Because Hemper brings it to you.

They understand your need for solitude and heady nirvana and they will bring the goods monthly. (Queue the harps!!) Remain in your subterranean safe space for the indefinite future and tack blurbs about corporate mergers on your “Master Board” with pictures of the Bilderberg Group and chart their connections using yarn and frenetic looking arrows all while knowing your cannabis related needs have been taken care of in the form of a subscription.

Hemper knows you are doing important work and you need not deviate from that work to walk amongst mortals in an open setting. Allow only the postman, once per month, to deliver your premium box of paper and glass products and thank him through your periscope. Have Igor fetch your box and bring it back to you and sample the goodies so you can get back to unmasking the Illuminati in peace!

 

Probiotic Cannabis Chocolate

Gourmand ganja for the gut… Whoever knew that a delicious chocolate could do so much? Heal the psyche AND heal the gut? The good people at Oara, that’s who. Packed with beneficial bacteria and the ever so beneficial THC these chocolate thins are the decadent choice for total wellness. Since cultivating a dynamic and healthy […]

Better Bong Water

Give Piece a chance… A designer bong deserves designer water. Would you fill up the tank of your brand new Ferrari with Mountain Dew? Let the record show that you would not. Than why continue to fill up your beautiful, shimmering new water pipe with tap water? The same tap water you wash your hands […]

Chocolate Love

Special chocolates for a special love… Happy Valentines! Did you get chocolates from your loved one today? Show some real valentine love with one of The New Smoker’s curated selection of cannabis chocolates. What’s a better way to say I love you than getting super high on Valentine’s Day, and doing some seriously deep Netflix […]

Natura Hemp Rolling Papers

Naturally Natura… When Little Jimmy Fontaine finally went all natural everyone thought it was just a phase. It started innocently enough. He started buying organic fruits and vegetables and relied only on Rizla’s Natura responsibly sourced hemp rolling papers to smoke his homegrown bud. Before long, he went vegetarian and then vegan and then raw vegan and then […]

Marble Pipes

Secret society’s pipe of choice… The Grand Puba of the Eternal Sativa Lodge has called upon the almighty seer stone to be brought forth with. As the central ritual piece of the Treemason’s harvest ceremony this marble pipe also acts as conduit to the spirit world. Designed by Fredericks & Mae this cone shaped pipe […]

Thrive

Into the vape wide open… Dateline: Kathmandu. 4,600 feet above sea level. 27°42′41″N 85°18′31″E. The young Nordic explorer, Thor Ganjarohl has returned triumphant from his record solo of Mt. Everest. The Nepalese know it as Sagarmāthā. With wind chills in excess of -70C, young Thor not only survived but thrived. He attributes his Thrive Vape Pen from […]

The Peak

The pinnacle of highness… Take your preferred concentrate and embark on a journey up the north face of Mt. Cannabis. A rarefied air for dab lovers who are always looking for higher peaks. Puff Co. has created a sleek vaporizer to vanquish your concentrate and put you on the summit of Where-the-hell-am-I-ville. Part light show, […]

Cannatonic Tonic

A sublime sublingual… It’s three o’clock in the morning and you’ve tuned into Tincture Radio, playing all those edible delights for you on your graveyard shift. We’ve got a special request going out to all those sublingual freaks out there. A cool and mellow high is coming your way from the groovy cats over at […]

Guild Extracts

Extraction traction… – THE STATE OF THE GUILD ADDRESS – “Here! Here! The Guild of Extracts has taken to the floor. The Honorable Bud McVaporstein has the microphone.” “Thank you, thank you. I will start by saying the state of Guild Extracts is strong and we continue to pick up steam. Our extracts have exceeded […]

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