The Glassentials Box

To all the Boo Radley’s out there. Your time is now.

Shut-ins and reclusive hermits rejoice! You need not sneak away to the head shop under the cloak of darkness anymore. You no longer need to dress like a Mutant Ninja Turtle out on the town for a slice of pizza to purchase your bud essentials. Why? Because Hemper brings it to you.

They understand your need for solitude and heady nirvana and they will bring the goods monthly. (Queue the harps!!) Remain in your subterranean safe space for the indefinite future and tack blurbs about corporate mergers on your “Master Board” with pictures of the Bilderberg Group and chart their connections using yarn and frenetic looking arrows all while knowing your cannabis related needs have been taken care of in the form of a subscription.

Hemper knows you are doing important work and you need not deviate from that work to walk amongst mortals in an open setting. Allow only the postman, once per month, to deliver your premium box of paper and glass products and thank him through your periscope. Have Igor fetch your box and bring it back to you and sample the goodies so you can get back to unmasking the Illuminati in peace!

 

pearl2o

Pearls before swine… As some infamous scraggly haired dude from the deep desert said in sermon sometime ago, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” – Matthew 7:6 Also in that big book of many […]

Poppins Stash Bag

A bagful of bud helps the medicine go down… If a mysterious magical nanny came down to earth on a rain dusted umbrella, full of smiles, secrets, and charm, then tricked you and your siblings to sing catchy tunes while you all learned child labor can be fun, we’re pretty sure you’d all have to […]

Crafty

The Walking Baked… It’s been 7 years since the world fell. It might be hard for some, but as someone who had the best hoophouse cannabis farm in Upper Mendo 3 years running, you’ve still got the skills to trade. A green thumb for the good green. Having something special to barter goes a long way […]

Boost: Black Edition

The Power of the Dub… Take your cannabis wax and/or oil to new heights with the world’s first portable, battery powered dab rig. The Boost: Black Edition is a surefire way to transport you deep into the multiverse without the need for a torch or some intricate scaffolding apparatus that resembles those delicious Doozer Sticks […]

Blunted Objects

Cannabis Chique… Gone are the days of the ostentatious potleaf medallion hanging off a fake gold rope chain. Blunted Objects brings style and craftsmanship to the cannabis community and makes it more than ok to show off your affinity for getting high. Adorn your ears with some Killer Leaf Hoops as you go out for […]

Jetty Sushi

Jiro Dreams of Cannabis… Someone has taken your love of raw fish and your passion for premium weed and combined it in the form of Jetty Sushi. It’s a portable sushi bar that caters to the San Diego area and infuses their rolls with top shelf cannabis oil. Dragon Rolls are so yesterday. These days […]

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