The Glassentials Box

To all the Boo Radley’s out there. Your time is now.

Shut-ins and reclusive hermits rejoice! You need not sneak away to the head shop under the cloak of darkness anymore. You no longer need to dress like a Mutant Ninja Turtle out on the town for a slice of pizza to purchase your bud essentials. Why? Because Hemper brings it to you.

They understand your need for solitude and heady nirvana and they will bring the goods monthly. (Queue the harps!!) Remain in your subterranean safe space for the indefinite future and tack blurbs about corporate mergers on your “Master Board” with pictures of the Bilderberg Group and chart their connections using yarn and frenetic looking arrows all while knowing your cannabis related needs have been taken care of in the form of a subscription.

Hemper knows you are doing important work and you need not deviate from that work to walk amongst mortals in an open setting. Allow only the postman, once per month, to deliver your premium box of paper and glass products and thank him through your periscope. Have Igor fetch your box and bring it back to you and sample the goodies so you can get back to unmasking the Illuminati in peace!

 

Cannabis Powder XJ-13

Dose & Dissolve… Through a mysterious co-mingling of both chemistry and alchemy, the intrepid souls at THC Design have just made what may be the galaxy’s first ever water soluble cannabis powder. That noise you hear in the distance are trumpets announcing it’s arrival. Has the new green Ovaltine arrived? Will there be a change […]

Love Hemp™ Body Salve

Love Thyself, Salve Thyself… Apply often, apply deeply, apply with reckless abandon… just as long as you apply. Allow the healing properties of Love Hemp melt into your skin, sink into your bones and trickle it’s way inside your veins. Let those veins carry the siren song of pure relaxation to the CBD starved synapses […]

Bloomfield

The Four Horsemen of the Vape-apolypse. From the Book of Elevations… – Elevation 6:1-2 Then I saw when a New Smoker broke one of the four seals from the Bloomfield Vape Kit, and I heard one of the four vaping creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, “Sativa” I looked, and behold, a white […]

Seasonal Treat Red Boxes

A Sensimilla Stocking Stuffer… If the terms green, organic, and fair-trade make you salivate, then a Baceae edible is just for you. If you like to get deliciously high, and lessen your carbon footprint on the planet, then a Baceae gourmet edible is just what you need. If you like little red boxes to go with […]

CBD Hemp Oil

Get the benefits without the buzz… We know what you’ve been thinking: how can one get a super concentrated ingestible form of cannabis to cure what ails you, but not get super blasted when you need to perform some of your higher functions like flying a plane, driving a school bus, or calculating the next […]

High Maintenance HBO

From Vimeo to HBO. It’s just one of those days. A day where the world gets in your way. The anti-cruise. No cruising. No green lights. Nothing flows. Every connection missed. Every train out of commission. The kind of day much better spent if you’d never left the bed, and called your weed guy instead. […]

Sweetflag Firestarter Kit

I’m the Firestarter… Admitly a 90s electro song from Prodigy doesn’t have much to do with Sweetflag’s Firestarter Travel Kit, other than sharing its name. But we get a kick out of imagining the spikey haired punk-ish Prodigy singer city kid from the dirty streets of London… out for a first night of camping under alpine […]

SteepFuze CBD Coffee

Coffee created to calm… It’s the natural progression of things. A person starts with a medium blend coffee from their local coffee chain store and then you start experimenting with various sweeteners. That turns into lattes, and then afternoon espresso breaks. You start throwing chai teas in the mix and now your Starbucks orders sound […]

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